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Butter Fingers

I'd wear seamed stockings, and a short skirt,
while he watched me wash his dishes.
Red fishnets, smooth shaven, no panties.
The garter's every satin slide
made me curiously aware of my skin.
I'd feel the weight of his eyes on the spot
where stocking meets thigh,
begging me to drop anything
so that I must bend over
to pick it up again.

11 Apr 05

Rated 8.4 (7.7) by 11 users.
Active (11): 3, 6, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (10): 1, 1, 6, 6, 6, 7, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10

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This seems a little twisted - you start with the stockings, then the skirt, on to describe what you are doing (which I would just delete as it seems to take away from the sexiness), then back to the stockings, your (legs? - maybe not?)...
Instead, why don't you start with the skirt, then go to the stockings, panties (or lack of), then use a metaphor to allude to the 'smooth shaven' (if this is in reference to more than just the legs), and so on.
I like the concept behind this - I love the concept. I just think it can be worked a little better. Love the ending.
You have given me an idea for a birthday gift - thank you;)

Sam xx
 — unknown

tee hee hee (no pa-pa- panties)
heh hehhee! heh hehhee!
 — mr_e

Sam xx--->
Thank you for sharing your perspective
on this-
You've sharpened mine, and I appreciate the help.

I love the letter e.
 — Krttika

You're a genius. ;/ Even, your poetry evokes sensual imagery, something so many people try so hard to do and look like asses doing it.


 — ramher

Black fishnets are sexier.  I've never even seen red fishnets and I wore fishies all the time in my teens.  Do you need curiously there?  Maybe something else, deliciously aware (fits the washing up theme, presumably you've eaten dinner).  Curiously is too bland, not steamy enough.  Steam from the dishes, steam from his eyes...he can't really see where the stockings meet the thigh, can he?  Unless you're wearing an apron instead of a skirt!

I also wish you'd change drop anything to drop everything, as that implies he's about to make you drop what you're doing and get down!
 — unknown

Thank you, ramher.
You've made me feel better about this poem---
I appreciate your words very much.

How do you know that black fishnets are sexier than red---
if you've never even seen the red before?
They do exist, and are quite beautiful.
The skirt in this piece is Very short (though I do dig the apron idea),
'he' can see what ever he's looking for.
Thank you for your comments and suggestions.
 — unknown

I don't know about black and red, only what men have told me.  They adore black underthings.  But it's your poem and your fantasy, I'm just the voyeur in the corner, taking notes for my next dish washing session.  
 — Isabelle5

HA!  My boyfriend's fantasy is to *erm* while I'm doing dishes!  HA!
 — themolly

This comment has been suspended by a moderator.

Sounds like the washing up never gets finished round your place
 — larrylark

I dunno...one small change-change "his dishes" to "the dishes", or it sounds like you are his slave, unless you want that...other than that, a naughty poem...I gotta send this to my gf!!!
 — SaleenDriva

white is sexier
 — unknown

I like this. The imagry you've put here, is so alive and truly nice.
 — Gabriella

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Gag Rahmer - too much information
I like the way the poem flows down and ends in a short but meaningful phrase .The tone lends itself to the very sexual nature of the poem . It's very intense for me.
 — lodza

It's cute (and not poorly written), but come on — 9.4?!? Are you actually rating as poets or just on the basis of our lame sexual fantasy? alt.arts.erotica.lame
 — unknown

It could be just 'your' sexual fantasy that's lame. I don't think you should go lumping everybody else into one, half-mast group.
 — Krttika

Heck erotica is always a top rated subject here. Personally I do not need your tittilation
 — unknown

I find it interesting that this poem was apparently 'top rated'---
I missed it.
Personally, I don't care about this rating contest that
has so many people so upset so often. I post at PC for advice from other poets on how to improve my poetry, a portion of which happens to be erotica--at the same time reading and commenting on others work also helps me.
Becoming 'top rated' on this site does not factor into my motives at all,
nor does 'tittilating' you--unknown.
 — unknown

haha. I like your comment , Krttika. Ggod one!  
 — Riverwriter2

or ah..good one. ahem.
 — Riverwriter2

Very poetically aware, very well written, very good.
 — opal

Thanks, riverwriter :-)

Thank you. I respect your writing and therefore your opinion.
 — Krttika

wow. this is erotic and sexual. very vivid and clear. nice work here.

you have so much crammed into so little (the lines) and it really speaks, going to a new level.
 — misterpoet

Thank you.
No rubber gloves here :-)
 — Krttika

Sexy housewife…mmmmmm
 — unknown

Mmmmm ^^
 — Erowen

Once again, krit, must say your best work ever :)

I agree on the rating thing. Fools gold in so many ways, for, if you even do get something top rated (at least I have found), then some bitch comes by and sabotages it with 1 ratings.

Said again: This is a poetry site not hot or not! To equate someone's hard work and ideas/emotions with a number... especially after you read it what, once?... is insulting to an author. (In my opinion)


 — unknown

this, too is hot (sorry, i just read something superhot a second ago, damned if i can remember, i am reading so many poems, so quickly...)

yes, this is very hot and what i appreciate most is how the sense of touch is evoked, with the satin of the garter sliding across the flesh.

 — mmoneypenny

I appreciate your comments. Thank you.
 — Krttika

all i had to say was oh la la ;) very sexy, seductive mood you create here. job very well done.
 — lanezfairy

I don't know the subject seems kind of sad here. She doesn't seem to be celebrating this. The title takes the seriousness out of it though, so it's a bit confusing. Well written though, great line flow.
 — unknown

Not really a poem, I would call it a hornyem.
 — unknown

lanezfairy & unknowns,
Thanks for reading and commenting on my hornyem.
 — Krttika

lol, good sense of humor too, the perfect poetress and lover.
 — unknown

 — unknown

i detect problems (?) in 3
and 10
panties is a funnie wurd...
 — chuckles

oh yeah
i liked it
 — chuckles

almost forgot

 — chuckles

Hot Stuff! Miaow.
 — BrokenJoke

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