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I take it in my mouth
like some backwoods
Dreaming, where I sip,
of a better place to swallow.
The heavy, greenish bottle
in my grip, swirls half-empty.
Burgundy spatters.
Sulfites spill.
I stain most everything.

8 Apr 05

Rated 7.9 (8.3) by 9 users.
Active (9): 6, 6, 6, 7, 8, 8, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (8): 1, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10

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nice take on the slosh drunk.
 — mould_jesus

Thank you, mould_jesus.
My first post here.
Been hanging around a few days,
I like this place,
lots of energy.
 — Krttika

Welcome.  We accept all slosh drunks and their poems!

This is cute.  I really like line 9.  
 — Isabelle5

i like it very much.

what i'd like even more, but this could just be me, would be to see a version where there is less literal nomenclature used. specifically bottle, burgundy. it would be cool if at first read one was not sure whether the poem was about oral sex or drinking. and maybe they're the same.

good title, too. i adore 1-3 and 10.

 — noodleman

Isabelle5 & noodleman,
Thanks to both of you--->
for your welcomes and comments.
I like your perspective, noodleman--->
I did want there to be this implied fellatio thing going on,
with respect to how oral drinking is,
but I didn't want to get all abstract.
I would be cool to -flesh- out another version of this,
via your suggestion.
thank you again.
 — Krttika

Killer.  I had to go out and have a cigarette for a couple of days after reading this.
 — mikkirat

Hello mikkirat.
I had to go out and binge-drink for a couple of days after reading your comment.
 — Krttika

Yes, dual meanings...you see? I agree with noodles - keep the reader guessing. Tonight I will bend elbow with you - cheers.

Sam xx
 — unknown

i love your poem
 — bettalpha

I like words to define
as much as they can,
in a line. Dual meanings rock.

Thanks, I'm glad you like it :-)

 — unknown

okay. have to admit. first 3 lines had me thinking in a completely different way. [i almost blushed].
this is very good... wouldn't change a word ... line 5 exceptional
 — Bloodfetish

Thank you very much, Bloodfetish :-)
 — unknown

ME too.  Gotta love the red.
 — themolly

i love : dreaming, where I sip, of a better pleace to swallow", that line really captures the underlying sentiment of the lush.  great job!
 — Riverwriter2

Thank you. That was the line that jumped into my head,
and made me write the poem (well, that- and years of alcohol abuse :-).
 — Krttika

What's a 'slosh drunk'? Anyway, I really enjoyed this. I start out thinking it's about head, then realising what it really is about. Any poem that can fool me is very clever, (not that it's very hard to do ;) )
 — winter

'sloshed' is a term used to describe someone wasted on alcohol--
so-maybe it means a 'drunk drunk' :-)
Thank you.
 — Krttika

I love reading a work by a fellow binge drinker. Yes the connections between inebriation and transubstantiation are very real. I especially like that the first five lines communicate more indirectly than directly (let a reader/editor think what they want).  The last line takes on a kind of philosophic importance, as if your talking now about the life of an alcoholic and not just the occasion of a stain
 — paulie

Thank you. I'm happy that you
understand both sides of my message. ;-)
 — Krttika

Join the club mate.This has the rythmn of serious drinking in it
 — larrylark

I like the mood of this piece.
 — Mithrandir

Cheers, larrylark.

Thank you, Mithrandir.
 — Krttika

This really messes with your head, I'm turned on by you taking a drink... I guess the language is so vivid and sensuos that it can't help to be sexy.
You're a talented writer with a unique sexlathered style... read most ur stuff... all good, enjoyable, and solid reads. thx.
 — unknown

 — unknown

K is the sex goddess of PC.
 — borntodance

For Hire:
A talented, verbose, sex goddess
with three hungry, little habits to support
so she's a real hard worker.
Complete satisfaction is assured.

I enjoyed reading your comments very much.
Thank you.
 — Krttika

Someone needed to bump this...


Anyway, there's nothing better than a good poem on an unconventional subject. I can honestly say this is the most educated-sounding drunk poem I've ever read.

Not that there are many out there, mind you.

Lines 8-10 are pure genius.

 — teo_omega11

I love lines 4 and 5,
but especially the last line.

 — For_Forsaken

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