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Liberi Excido
Muzatsu

Vast archaic articles,
 1
Shudder.
 2
Whisper.
 3
Remember.
 4
 
 
Old forgotten trinkets;
 5
a ripped open teddy bear
 6
with the stuffing hanging out,
 7
a baby's rattle
 8
Half cracked and hollow.
 9
 
 
A Raggedy Ann doll missing a button eye,
 10
a few Little Golden books with missing pages.
 11
 
 
Little girls in pink flowered dresses,
 12
the ones with lace hems and Bella sleeves.
 13
Little boys in brown suspenders
 14
red elastics
 15
adorning gruff and sour faces.
 16
All they are are pictures now.
 17
 
 
I said "I love you daddy!
 18
happy father's day!
 19
I made you a present!"
 20
 
 
All it was a first grade craft
 21
a baby jar full of water and glitter
 22
and a laminated picture of the child
 23
I once was.
 24
 
 
Once the picture was bright and cheerful,
 25
as a child can only be such.
 26
But years passed
 27
it began its short disintegration,
 28
it's yellowing,
 29
fading.
 30
 
 
Finally, I uncovered the old dusty artifact
 31
and saw what I had always seen.
 32
The picture faded completely,
 33
my face was nothing but eroded yellow grain.
 34
 
 
Yet I had always known this,
 35
I just couldn't face the truth--
 36
Indeed I was
 37
a child forgotten.
 38

12 Mar 05

Rated 9 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (2): 7, 8

(define the words in this poem)
(17 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

grawr
 — Muzatsu

Good but boring
 — unknown

need more critques than one, for I am greedy and immature and I like to bump things
 — Muzatsu

I think this is a good poem, I read you're only 16 so I am particularly impressed.  My favorite line is 34 (eroded is spelled wrong).  Also, L38: forgotten.  Sorry, my mother was an editor, it's in my blood.  Overall, great content, especially stanza 8.  Not all lines need to begin capitalized, however.  I think you have talent here, good job.
 — jodieal

ahh my spelling sucks, ah oh well I still have gallons of school and AP English to help me stop making such errors....but yea thankies for the corrections! And on the caps thing, I realized that I should go easy on that lol.
 — Muzatsu

A sensitive portrayal of chidhood vanished
 — larrylark

Familiar.
 — Meep

"A Raggedy Ann doll"

This language belongs to another age.
 — Meep

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