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Sophie
larrylark

For my grown up left home daughter

Do you remember that day
 1
when stars tumbled
 2
onto a glittering stone strewn path
 3
beneath our feet
 4
and we charted the route to Orion
 5
through your first tentative steps
 6
that took us laughing,
 7
all the way home.
 8

8 Mar 05

Rated 9 (7.6) by 13 users.
Active (13): 6, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (35): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(221 more poems by this author)

(21 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:

speechless.

the whole (!) short circuited me or something. i think i just died.

oh nevermind.

i think my pulse is back to normal now.

that header. splutter.
should contain less dad for daughter stuff

for a minute there i thought it was from my dad to me

and i wasnt prepared

so umm now im suffering from post traumatic syndrome, and couldn't begin to remember what the poem was about, to be able to tell you whether it was good or not.

and when i remember my password im scorin 10 anyway

what a rush.
if im lucky i wont remember it tommorow, and be able to experience it all over again.
 — unknown

It is a real rush to see a father write with such heart and feeling about his grown daughter. it is a beautiful path - up the ladder to the stars.
 — unknown

Dear Ist. Unknown

This is one of the nicest replies i've ever had-Larry loves you

Larry Feel it Lark
 — larrylark

loverly. thank you, larry.

-noodleman.
 — unknown

see how nice i can be when i'm not thinking about it. love you back larry. be my dad.

ps: unfortunately i wasn't shocked speechless 2nd time round, it seems my memory is more robust than i believed.

i could read the poem today however and i like it
 — kaleidazcope

'i could read the poem today however and i like it'...and this is a level of critique...lol

I like your poem too
 — unknown

it's not a level of critique.
 — unknown

Dear Kaleidazcope

I think i've done my share of dadding bringing up two girls and in the process of bringing up two boys which sometimes makes you feel a little bit crazy.I will however be your spiritual long distance dad if you like.

Larry Hands across the airwaves Lark
 — unknown

I like it.
 — unknown

Dear Noodleman,

I appreciate your appreciation
 — larrylark

Creative and thoughtful, I approve.
 — Bitterman

beautiful.
 — meth_angel

Dear Bitterman

I appreciate your liking of this poem which i have been trying to write and get right for the 19 years since what is described in this poem took place. Hope you can get an angle on my barely coherent ramblings
 — larrylark

Dear Bitterman

Don't be bitter,lifes too short.Thanks for the comment ,its much appreciated

Larry mild or should that read wild Lark
 — larrylark

Dear Meth Angel

Thank you

larry
 — larrylark

AAAwwww.  how freakin cute is that?
 — themolly

Dear TheMolly

Not as cute as my frikin' daughter

Larry love makes the world go round Lark
 — larrylark

Simple, pretty and sweet! Says a lot in a few words. Not overdone or soppy. Does what it intends to do and does it well! They grow up all too quickly don't they!
 — wamblicante

do you remember that day
when your stomach rumbled
on a piss stained path
beneath our feet
and we farted onions
and tentatively belched
that made us run away from each other
all the way home



Sophist
 — unknown

oh.... I'm speechless. That's really sweet, oh  how I wish I had a father like you.
 — Gabriella

Dear Gabriella

Oh no you don't  

Larry
 — unknown

It makes me think of little girls with bows in their hair, ice cream smiles and music boxes. And it makes me think of my dad, and being six with ice cream smiles and music boxes, and shopping expeditions and swings around his shoulders.

Thank you.
 — silhouetted

Dear Silouhetted

If you could see her now all grown up living the good life with her friends in Manchester.

Larry time blown Lark
 — unknown

I would give you a 10, but I think some punctuation/presentation could use some work. Maybe a few line breaks. When you read this poem, how does it read to you? Do you pause anywhere? Speak softer in any lines? Try and get that across in the spacing/line breaks.
 — Leigh

Dear Leigh

thanks for the advice . I will look at the punctuation carefully in the light of your comments. This is a bit of a coincidence cus yesterdsy i went down to check out a new shop in the vicinity called Pause and bought a kilo of apostrophe's 100 gramms of  semi colons andthirty full stops (Buy one get one free).

Larry:-0
 — unknown

cornered the sentiment market
 — unknown

Dear Unknown,

Nothing wrong with sentimentality,that is unless of course you are bitter and twisted.
 — larrylark

very good enough, this is.
 — noodleman

oh quite well done and tres cute!
 — tragicbubble

Dear Noodleman

if its good enough for you then its good enough


Larry
 — unknown

Orion is making his rounds tonight, obviously...
 — LauraLea2

I read something recently that I thought you'd enjoy.

"Our goal is to produce kids who can emotionally leave home, kids who can come to love somebody else more than they love their parents."  That's a wise and mature statement.
 — john

Real simple...but touching.  I didnt really like it at first (just cause I didnt, I dont know why), but now that I have come back and re-read it, I like it.  Quality stuff.
 — SaleenDriva

Dear John

You have just put into words my philosophy regarding bringing up children plus she's coming home tomorrow for Father's Day with another of her totally unexpected whacko gifts.

Larry
 — unknown

sentimentality always wins on this site. its cute but not worthy of being top rated. now i know why air supply were loved.
 — unknown

do u remember that day
when my fingers fumbled
into your glittering panties
i pulled beneath your feet
and we charted the route
to your first
tentative orgasm
that took us quarreling
all the way home
 — unknown

Dear unknown 2, your reply made me laugh aloud, what a hoot - it's so vivid so real, so sexy, go on - bang it on the board.

Larry
 — unknown

dont encourage me larry

unknown 1 and 2
 — unknown

you have penis'
 — unknown

ADASDF
 — unknown

Dear unknown

Go on put it on ,you know it makes sense.I implore you. Why i guess i might give it a 7 it the coffe brews up good and there's a cool breeze blowing in from Wigan.

Larry loves everybody Lark
 — unknown

now this s poem, a gret poem
 — Odin

nice poem. a favorite.
 — hank

do u remember that day
when my stomach rumbled
and the contents were strewn
beneath our feet
and we farted all the way to Ohio
despite loosening our belts
that took us suffocating
all the way home



DEEPTHROAT
 — unknown

this is so sweet!  beautiful images...
 — woman_power

thanks for reminding me why i come back here every day.
 — midare

Yearning.  The yearning is felt in this poem.  For a short, it is remarkably complete, but would like to know more about why you're remembering.
 — cynthmala

Dear,Cynthmala,

As previously explained, I've been trying to write this poem for 20 years and we all have many poems like that. I remember that bleak February day like it was yesterday,when I took my daughter out walking for the first time in the park. As any parent knows, this feels like a miracle and Sophie walked about 20 metres in half an hour, in between scrutinising the late winter sunkissed pebbles and stones that formed the gravel of the path. It was a moment of profound feeling and affects me to this day. It's like seeing the world from a different position for the first time,

Larry
 — unknown

you're begging the question without a question mark!
 — unknown

aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww
 — BoundFeet

Hi Larrylark,

Do you remember that day when stars tumbled onto a glittering stone strewn path beneath our feet and we charted the route to Orion through your first tentative steps
that took us laughing, all the way home.

You may find this a strange question why would you chart a route to Orion.

Turtle Wax.
 — unknown

very nice poem.....i like it alot....
 — GoThIcSlUt69

Had to read this over several days to get the sense of the daughter and the personal moment.  Nice
 — Isabelle5

We parents have those treasures, don't we?  
 — unknown

I don't understand this particular piece. Most babies don't remember their first step. Personally, I began retaining experience at age 4. A friend of mine recalls to this day his first words, and claims to have memory from 2 months of age. But that phenomenon is uncommon in the dire sense of the meaning. I 'spose I can understand the reminiscent parental aspect of this...and I'm no parent, I'm a
Gemini, so I too have unique talents.

You're from Manchester, NH? I just recently moved in with my girlfriend here. Nice place. Vermont is ethereallly stunning, however. Love the clouds hanging over the mountains half a football field above your car, hugging and caressing every peak and the lonesome space in the valleys. It's growing on me.
 — Eschatologic

words simply put that can only be spoken by a mother
 — Lillythepoo

oops, didnt realze it was from a dad, well, you must be really close to your daughter and love her very much to come across as a mom! :)
 — Lillythepoo

Dear Eschatologic,

It is the first time he took his daughter to walk in the park
i should know i was there
 — fashionfad

made me smile larry the dad lark ... thanks!
 — asklepios

a piece of beauty.
 — listen

who is this poem about?
i think that its sweet!
 — big_freak

Hi big freak

Its about my daughter .If you look back through my replies there is an explanation
 — larrylark

:)......I am ver happy when I read this poem.
 — schotsy

Dear Schotsy

If your happy then i'm happy

Larry happy Lark
 — larrylark

written well. you write well. nice poem.
 — varun

"Sophie" is the prettiest of pretty names.
 — unknown

Dear Varun

Thanks for the complement.

Larry
 — larrylark

well done mate.like it
 — tony

it bugs me that this poem is a question..."do you remember?" yet ends in a period. also, it just leaves me wanting more.
 — Xiada

I like this alot <33
 — forevergone

Wow! I remember loads from when I was a baby! Really cute poem!
 — Lulu

I would have to disagree with you, unknown. The imagery is good.
 — Hear

very nice. nothing groundbreaking (at least for me) but nicely done.
 — Ewan

it's pretty
 — delfinkay

I'm sorry I just don't feel the love....
 — Charlie

beautiful.
it brings tears to my eyes.
favorite and I'll have to show this to my dad.
~sparrow
 — unknown

Dear Charlie

Don't worry for what is love but merely illusion
 — larrylark

have to say, one of the best i've read. not just on the site.
glad to see it back up again.

varun.
 — unknown

....speechless!
 — unknown

Such simplicity, such an achievement, in print, in life.
 — tanamac

Dear Tanamac

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Larry suseptible Lark
 — larrylark

The comma at the end of 7 is not necessary.

I suspect that you have intentionally not used a question mark, and, as it’s a rhetorical question, I don’t think that one is necessary, but I think a question mark would be an exclamation mark on the poignancy of this poem.
 — wily

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