| Sophie |
larrylark
|
For my grown up left home daughter
|
|
Do you remember that day
|
1 |
|
when stars tumbled
|
2 |
|
onto a glittering stone strewn path
|
3 |
|
beneath our feet
|
4 |
|
and we charted the route to Orion
|
5 |
|
through your first tentative steps
|
6 |
|
that took us laughing,
|
7 |
|
all the way home.
|
8 |
|
8 Mar 05 |
Rated 9 (7.6) by 13 users.
Active (13): 6, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (35): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(221 more poems by this author)
(21 users consider this poem a favorite)
|
Add A Comment:
|
Comments:
speechless.
the whole (!) short circuited me or something. i think i just died.
oh nevermind.
i think my pulse is back to normal now.
that header. splutter.
should contain less dad for daughter stuff
for a minute there i thought it was from my dad to me
and i wasnt prepared
so umm now im suffering from post traumatic syndrome, and couldn't begin to remember what the poem was about, to be able to tell you whether it was good or not.
and when i remember my password im scorin 10 anyway
what a rush.
if im lucky i wont remember it tommorow, and be able to experience it all over again.
— unknown
It is a real rush to see a father write with such heart and feeling about his grown daughter. it is a beautiful path - up the ladder to the stars.
— unknown
Dear Ist. Unknown
This is one of the nicest replies i've ever had-Larry loves you
Larry Feel it Lark
— larrylark
loverly. thank you, larry.
-noodleman.
— unknown
see how nice i can be when i'm not thinking about it. love you back larry. be my dad.
ps: unfortunately i wasn't shocked speechless 2nd time round, it seems my memory is more robust than i believed.
i could read the poem today however and i like it
— kaleidazcope
'i could read the poem today however and i like it'...and this is a level of critique...lol
I like your poem too
— unknown
it's not a level of critique.
— unknown
Dear Kaleidazcope
I think i've done my share of dadding bringing up two girls and in the process of bringing up two boys which sometimes makes you feel a little bit crazy.I will however be your spiritual long distance dad if you like.
Larry Hands across the airwaves Lark
— unknown
I like it.
— unknown
Dear Noodleman,
I appreciate your appreciation
— larrylark
Creative and thoughtful, I approve.
— Bitterman
beautiful.
— meth_angel
Dear Bitterman
I appreciate your liking of this poem which i have been trying to write and get right for the 19 years since what is described in this poem took place. Hope you can get an angle on my barely coherent ramblings
— larrylark
Dear Bitterman
Don't be bitter,lifes too short.Thanks for the comment ,its much appreciated
Larry mild or should that read wild Lark
— larrylark
Dear Meth Angel
Thank you
larry
— larrylark
AAAwwww. how freakin cute is that?
— themolly
Dear TheMolly
Not as cute as my frikin' daughter
Larry love makes the world go round Lark
— larrylark
Simple, pretty and sweet! Says a lot in a few words. Not overdone or soppy. Does what it intends to do and does it well! They grow up all too quickly don't they!
— wamblicante
do you remember that day
when your stomach rumbled
on a piss stained path
beneath our feet
and we farted onions
and tentatively belched
that made us run away from each other
all the way home
Sophist
— unknown
oh.... I'm speechless. That's really sweet, oh how I wish I had a father like you.
— Gabriella
Dear Gabriella
Oh no you don't
Larry
— unknown
It makes me think of little girls with bows in their hair, ice cream smiles and music boxes. And it makes me think of my dad, and being six with ice cream smiles and music boxes, and shopping expeditions and swings around his shoulders.
Thank you.
— silhouetted
Dear Silouhetted
If you could see her now all grown up living the good life with her friends in Manchester.
Larry time blown Lark
— unknown
I would give you a 10, but I think some punctuation/presentation could use some work. Maybe a few line breaks. When you read this poem, how does it read to you? Do you pause anywhere? Speak softer in any lines? Try and get that across in the spacing/line breaks.
— Leigh
Dear Leigh
thanks for the advice . I will look at the punctuation carefully in the light of your comments. This is a bit of a coincidence cus yesterdsy i went down to check out a new shop in the vicinity called Pause and bought a kilo of apostrophe's 100 gramms of semi colons andthirty full stops (Buy one get one free).
Larry:-0
— unknown
cornered the sentiment market
— unknown
Dear Unknown,
Nothing wrong with sentimentality,that is unless of course you are bitter and twisted.
— larrylark
very good enough, this is.
— noodleman
oh quite well done and tres cute!
— tragicbubble
Dear Noodleman
if its good enough for you then its good enough
Larry
— unknown
Orion is making his rounds tonight, obviously...
— LauraLea2
I read something recently that I thought you'd enjoy.
"Our goal is to produce kids who can emotionally leave home, kids who can come to love somebody else more than they love their parents." That's a wise and mature statement.
— john
Real simple...but touching. I didnt really like it at first (just cause I didnt, I dont know why), but now that I have come back and re-read it, I like it. Quality stuff.
— SaleenDriva
Dear John
You have just put into words my philosophy regarding bringing up children plus she's coming home tomorrow for Father's Day with another of her totally unexpected whacko gifts.
Larry
— unknown
sentimentality always wins on this site. its cute but not worthy of being top rated. now i know why air supply were loved.
— unknown
do u remember that day
when my fingers fumbled
into your glittering panties
i pulled beneath your feet
and we charted the route
to your first
tentative orgasm
that took us quarreling
all the way home
— unknown
Dear unknown 2, your reply made me laugh aloud, what a hoot - it's so vivid so real, so sexy, go on - bang it on the board.
Larry
— unknown
dont encourage me larry
unknown 1 and 2
— unknown
you have penis'
— unknown
ADASDF
— unknown
Dear unknown
Go on put it on ,you know it makes sense.I implore you. Why i guess i might give it a 7 it the coffe brews up good and there's a cool breeze blowing in from Wigan.
Larry loves everybody Lark
— unknown
now this s poem, a gret poem
— Odin
nice poem. a favorite.
— hank
do u remember that day
when my stomach rumbled
and the contents were strewn
beneath our feet
and we farted all the way to Ohio
despite loosening our belts
that took us suffocating
all the way home
DEEPTHROAT
— unknown
this is so sweet! beautiful images...
— woman_power
thanks for reminding me why i come back here every day.
— midare
Yearning. The yearning is felt in this poem. For a short, it is remarkably complete, but would like to know more about why you're remembering.
— cynthmala
Dear,Cynthmala,
As previously explained, I've been trying to write this poem for 20 years and we all have many poems like that. I remember that bleak February day like it was yesterday,when I took my daughter out walking for the first time in the park. As any parent knows, this feels like a miracle and Sophie walked about 20 metres in half an hour, in between scrutinising the late winter sunkissed pebbles and stones that formed the gravel of the path. It was a moment of profound feeling and affects me to this day. It's like seeing the world from a different position for the first time,
Larry
— unknown
you're begging the question without a question mark!
— unknown
aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww
— BoundFeet
Hi Larrylark,
Do you remember that day when stars tumbled onto a glittering stone strewn path beneath our feet and we charted the route to Orion through your first tentative steps
that took us laughing, all the way home.
You may find this a strange question why would you chart a route to Orion.
Turtle Wax.
— unknown
very nice poem.....i like it alot....
— GoThIcSlUt69
Had to read this over several days to get the sense of the daughter and the personal moment. Nice
— Isabelle5
We parents have those treasures, don't we?
— unknown
I don't understand this particular piece. Most babies don't remember their first step. Personally, I began retaining experience at age 4. A friend of mine recalls to this day his first words, and claims to have memory from 2 months of age. But that phenomenon is uncommon in the dire sense of the meaning. I 'spose I can understand the reminiscent parental aspect of this...and I'm no parent, I'm a
Gemini, so I too have unique talents.
You're from Manchester, NH? I just recently moved in with my girlfriend here. Nice place. Vermont is ethereallly stunning, however. Love the clouds hanging over the mountains half a football field above your car, hugging and caressing every peak and the lonesome space in the valleys. It's growing on me.
— Eschatologic
words simply put that can only be spoken by a mother
— Lillythepoo
oops, didnt realze it was from a dad, well, you must be really close to your daughter and love her very much to come across as a mom! :)
— Lillythepoo
Dear Eschatologic,
It is the first time he took his daughter to walk in the park
i should know i was there
— fashionfad
made me smile larry the dad lark ... thanks!
— asklepios
a piece of beauty.
— listen
who is this poem about?
i think that its sweet!
— big_freak
Hi big freak
Its about my daughter .If you look back through my replies there is an explanation
— larrylark
:)......I am ver happy when I read this poem.
— schotsy
Dear Schotsy
If your happy then i'm happy
Larry happy Lark
— larrylark
written well. you write well. nice poem.
— varun
"Sophie" is the prettiest of pretty names.
— unknown
Dear Varun
Thanks for the complement.
Larry
— larrylark
well done mate.like it
— tony
it bugs me that this poem is a question..."do you remember?" yet ends in a period. also, it just leaves me wanting more.
— Xiada
I like this alot <33
— forevergone
Wow! I remember loads from when I was a baby! Really cute poem!
— Lulu
I would have to disagree with you, unknown. The imagery is good.
— Hear
very nice. nothing groundbreaking (at least for me) but nicely done.
— Ewan
it's pretty
— delfinkay
I'm sorry I just don't feel the love....
— Charlie
beautiful.
it brings tears to my eyes.
favorite and I'll have to show this to my dad.
~sparrow
— unknown
Dear Charlie
Don't worry for what is love but merely illusion
— larrylark
have to say, one of the best i've read. not just on the site.
glad to see it back up again.
varun.
— unknown
....speechless!
— unknown
Such simplicity, such an achievement, in print, in life.
— tanamac
Dear Tanamac
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Larry suseptible Lark
— larrylark
The comma at the end of 7 is not necessary.
I suspect that you have intentionally not used a question mark, and, as it’s a rhetorical question, I don’t think that one is necessary, but I think a question mark would be an exclamation mark on the poignancy of this poem.
— wily
|
|
Recently Commented (expand)
|