poetry critical

online poetry workshop



(FOTO Fridays) Gladys and the Pips never rode no motorcycle.
ShelbyS

Two counter forces, viciously
 1
impotent, stand holding hands.
 2
(they're worlds apart)
 3
They flex; veins shining in
 4
effluent ironic glory.
 5
 
 
Violent blue corduroy carries in it
 6
rings of sinews floating across the room. They’re
 7
off to connect through dark-blue gaze; toting
 8
aurora borealis to build our aluminum
 9
stakes:
 10
 
 
to steal magnetic skies.
 11
 
 
The glint in his eye is an iron
 12
scalpel, cutting rosebuds out of
 13
Gaian lines that are always reshaping
 14
the
 15
earth.
 16
 
 
Grab it before it flies back to the
 17
core, slicing through mountains and
 18
oceanic cities alike:
 19
 
 
they've connected through oblivion.
 20

4 Mar 05

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Comments:

It might help if you included a link to the foto in question.
 — unknown

http://photos7.flickr.com/5887894_d359dec3 2b_o.jpg
 — unknown

http://photos7.flickr.com/5887894_d359dec3 2b_o.jpg
 — unknown

i like the idea of violent blue corduroy, should the gaze be blue too, or is it too close to the other blue?

no clouds in this. though. the guy looks like monkey summoning his magic cloud. phh-phh-cloud. pow. zoom. wish i'd used that. but i'm all written now.

i like this without monkey's or clouds though.
 — kaleidazcope

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