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The Unsocial Letter
ShelbyS

I was never so enviable as this;
 1
 
 
burning at an exponentional rate of speed,
 2
so many faded attempts at infamy staining our history
 3
all forgotten in the blink of an eye.
 4
 
 
Magnetism feeds our connection, pulling us
 5
faster with each new era.
 6
 
 
Glass walls slice softly through
 7
anemic veins,
 8
cutting loose all that which is no longer
 9
necessary.
 10
 
 
It's not the cure, its the cause:
 11
vicariously displaying ego through the
 12
society that brought about our destruction.
 13
 
 
The stubble on my cheek stinks of apathy,
 14
image built upon the struggle between the
 15
needlessly devout and the uselessly devoid.
 16
 
 
Closer than close, our roots are based
 17
in hallowed ground, pulling intensely through
 18
brimstone and moonlight years before the
 19
last rite of those who ignore the futility.
 20
 
 
In the center of the Earth;
 21
 
 
in a hole covered by heavy brush and endless
 22
sand, two forces of opposite yield will meet
 23
and Universes will collide and subside.
 24
 
 
(time must disappear in this moment to produce
 25
the instant, for the instant will produce infinity)
 26

beware the lies of a thousand blind men all screaming at the top of their lungs.

23 Dec 04


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(42 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

I like the word-choice, sound and tone of this poem a lot; stylistically, it's beautiful, but a lot of it is far too abstract for me.  It is at points concrete and tangible, like "closer... our roots are based/in hallowed ground, pulling..." and "a hole covered by heavy brush...sand" and other instances, but long abstractions like "vicariously exuding ego through the/society that brought about our destruction" just don't make much of an impression on me.  It sounds good, but is like music with no lyrics.

This poem could easily be expanded, and if the abstractions were reworked into more concrete form, it could be great.
Thanks,
 — mikkirat

whats it about?
 — unknown

any ideas now?
 — unknown

this was completely redone. new ideas would be useful.
 — unknown

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