poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Not so, damn us.

Lost in the circular logic of
                                       crying shame
Hot shivers,
                  doubt that this will never be the same.
                     The way your hair falls
                           after a gust of wind.
Or the crazy wildness, sinking depth,
                 the cherry red apples of heaven.
                             Hey, I heard you whispering
          (nymphs have fattened ears).
Now, I never underestimated,
I could have, all these years.
For the lack of better judgement,
or the blame of aching feet,
                                          Love is worth
                        the consequence
                                          Your gaze is worth
                        the meet.
I should have turned a page
    or two
                                    but I left it up to the wind
                                    the crazy sinking wildness
the gust of the illogic grin.

3 Nov 04

Rated 8 (7.8) by 4 users.
Active (4): 8, 8, 10
Inactive (2): 7, 7, 8

(define the words in this poem)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

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wo!!! i read the fist few lines and went over to click on another poem, but something told me to finished it! i am so veru glad i did! it is amazing.  i love poems that rhyme but it isnt so obvious.  i like your spacing.  i woouldnt change a thing in this poem! perfect 10
 — meghanmidget

well! thank you very much.
 — unknown

Good spacing.  Hints to the erratic thoughts, the skip of our minds...

Worthy of a half smile.  I'm juiced
 — dionnefields

The spacing makes me want to throw up... but overall it's pretty damn good.
 — unknown

The spacing was a turn off at first, but now i find it interesting.
 — Skillmatic

I just love this for no particular reason, other than it's passionate, orginal, timeless and stirs me.

Thank you
 — smugzy

I never saw this before.  This is very well done, conveys a lot of different things in a short space.
 — Isabelle5

good format. i like the way this reads down the page, a tad wild but with good rhythm.
 — listen