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What I Learned Lately You’ve Openly Undone
stilltime

Advancing as suddenly as air fills a room
 1
Because, well, somebody dared to chase moons and
 2
Consumed all the fuel reserved for the mission
 3
Deprivation of oxygen can create conditions
 4
Erasing your vision when too much is taken so
 5
Fake smiles are mistaken on faces for angels’
 6
God save us, deprived of what gave us our lives
 7
Halfway through space-time and we’re coming up dry so
 8
I plummet and fly, come at you, run by to
 9
Jump higher than tidals while vitals revive; you
 10
Kaleidoscope alive and come bright to defy
 11
Live constellations I see reflected with drive
 12
Morosely like rays of radiation inclined with
 13
No warning of warming, no chlorine this morning
 14
Or morphine for boring through lifelines while morphing
 15
Proves shit; Earth’s lit in its search for a reason to
 16
Quit its rehersal of fighting on turf
 17
Realizing the surf comes away and rebirth
 18
Saves the day and we’re burned anyway and we curse
 19
Take away what we yearn for
 20
Ultimately immersed in
 21
Vertical
 22
Worth until
 23
X-rays chart
 24
Your heart and find
 25
Zip
 26

7 Sep 04

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Comments:

brilliant, I must say. I love this. the form is incredibly interesting, and the flow of the poem and the rhyming, its all top-notch. only thing Id say for tonight is L10, I think it could use 'you' at the end, just for the sound and meter of it. amazing, I love this, truly interesting poetry. I will come back to it tommorow, youve managed a place on my favorites list which so rarely gets new additions. (10)
 — ShelbyS

you are absolutely right; i like it better that way, thank you (the first poem I read after posting this was yours, titled 'saturns falling', and I was very surprised to find we both hid messages by using caps)  i would love to write a 2-author poem some time- hit me up if you're interested
 — stilltime

or anybody that wants to write a co-authored poem speak up
 — stilltime

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