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What I Learned Lately You’ve Openly Undone

Advancing as suddenly as air fills a room
Because, well, somebody dared to chase moons and
Consumed all the fuel reserved for the mission
Deprivation of oxygen can create conditions
Erasing your vision when too much is taken so
Fake smiles are mistaken on faces for angels’
God save us, deprived of what gave us our lives
Halfway through space-time and we’re coming up dry so
I plummet and fly, come at you, run by to
Jump higher than tidals while vitals revive; you
Kaleidoscope alive and come bright to defy
Live constellations I see reflected with drive
Morosely like rays of radiation inclined with
No warning of warming, no chlorine this morning
Or morphine for boring through lifelines while morphing
Proves shit; Earth’s lit in its search for a reason to
Quit its rehersal of fighting on turf
Realizing the surf comes away and rebirth
Saves the day and we’re burned anyway and we curse
Take away what we yearn for
Ultimately immersed in
Worth until
X-rays chart
Your heart and find

7 Sep 04

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brilliant, I must say. I love this. the form is incredibly interesting, and the flow of the poem and the rhyming, its all top-notch. only thing Id say for tonight is L10, I think it could use 'you' at the end, just for the sound and meter of it. amazing, I love this, truly interesting poetry. I will come back to it tommorow, youve managed a place on my favorites list which so rarely gets new additions. (10)
 — ShelbyS

you are absolutely right; i like it better that way, thank you (the first poem I read after posting this was yours, titled 'saturns falling', and I was very surprised to find we both hid messages by using caps)  i would love to write a 2-author poem some time- hit me up if you're interested
 — stilltime

or anybody that wants to write a co-authored poem speak up
 — stilltime