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"A Dedication to Those I'd Kill" as told by Darren P. Johnson
Henry

I'm rather short, for I'm a dwarf
 1
and don't have long to live.
 2
All the people that annoyed me
 3
probably thought that I’d forgive.
 4
And I guess I really should have,
 5
but I know I never will,
 6
so I’ve made a list of people
 7
that before I die, I’ll kill.
 8
 
Doug Barnes is my new roommate,
 9
and he isn’t too polite.
 10
He plays WoW at early hours
 11
and he never says “goodnight.”
 12
And he shoves his father’s golf clubs,
 13
in my room beneath the stairs,
 14
so I'll stab him with his dagger
 15
when I think he's least prepared.
 16
 
His brother Tom is not so bad,
 17
unless Chris King is there.
 18
They constantly make fun of me
 19
as if I’m not aware.
 20
So I think I’ll beat the brother
 21
with my cane when he’s asleep,
 22
and then after trip their loud friend
 23
down the stairs, which are quite steep.
 24
 
Katie Lansing, I have yet to meet
 25
but I can surely tell
 26
from what I’ve heard, I’m sure to find
 27
that she should die as well.
 28
So I’ll sew her sphincter closed
 29
with a needle and a thread
 30
and then feed her tons of cookies
 31
till she eats so much, she’s dead.
 32
 
There I'm sure are still more people
 33
that would annoy me, had we met
 34
but we thankfully did not meet,
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for they surely would regret
 36
the day that they annoyed me
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or were even slightly mean,
 38
To the young, Darren P. Johnson
 39
Who had died at age sixteen.
 40

01/31/07

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